On the quiet, a comedy in two acts

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No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts

ON THE QUIET

A Comedy in Two Acts

By

GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM

Juthor of "v/ Regular Rah ! Rah ! Boy,'' '-'Leave
it to Polly;' ''Cupid* 5 Partner,'' "Her First Assign-
ment," "A Case for Sherlock Holmes" "Ring-
around-a-Rosie," "A Regular Scream" " Three of
a Kind:;' "The Turn in the Road," "The ^een
of Hearts" etc.

BOSTON

WALTER H. BAKER & CO,

1915

ON THE QUIET

CHARACTERS

William Hastings, a reporter.

Thomas Englund, attorney -at- law.

Dr. Edward Curtis.

David Curtis ) ^ 4i j- i

Harland Wilkins I Darmouth freshmen.

Harry Strickland.

Vincent Calhoun.

George Jefferson Henry Lee, his valet.

Jeremiah Hincks, constable.

Sam Hincks, his so7i, a guide.

Jason LeBeau, a trapper.

Arthur Hatch, postmaster and storekeeper at Kimbal Corners.

Plays One Hour and a Half.

Scene. — Room in a hunting camp on the shore of Massebecco
Lake, Maine woods.

Copyright, 1914, by Walter H. Baker & Co.

©cm 387i:">
NOV -6 1914

On the Quiet

ACT I

SCENE. — Room in a hunting camp on the shore of Masse-
becco Lake, Maine woods. Exits r., l. and c. Dining
table and chairs. A table at R. with a reading la?np, books,
papers and so forth. There should be a fireplace and several
mounted heads on the walls. One head is absolutely neces-
sary. Rifles and fishing tackle.

{As curtain rises Sam Hincks is discovered cleaning a rifle.
Sam is a country boy about seventeen, speaks with a drawl,
and is very deliberate in his movements. Thomas Englund
enters "s.., followed by William Hastings. Hast, should
be very pale, very nervous, and his movements are quick
and rather jerky. He has the appearance of being keyed
up to the highest pitch.')

Eng. Sam, did you get my fishing tackle ready?

Sam. Yes, sir. It's right here.

Hast. I say, Tom, I'm going, too ! I am getting sick of
this lay around and sleep business.

Eng. I don't doubt it, but that's what you need, you know.

Hast. Piffle ! Sam, you find my fishing tackle, and

Sam {in innocent surprise). Have you got some, Mr.
Hastings?

Hast, {wrathfully). Have I got some? Well, what do
you think, you

Eng. There, Billy, don't get mad. You know how much
I would like to have you go along, but I would never dare to
do it without Ned's consent.

Hast. Ned's a fuddy ! I'm going, and that's all there is
toit !

Eng. Now, Billy, listen, please ! That's a good fellow.

3

4 ON THE QUIET

You know it's absolutely necessary for you to be quiet for a few
days longer, and to have perfect rest.

Hast. Quiet I Rest 1 If you say those words again I
won't answer for the consequences. When Ned bamboozled
me into coming into this howling wilderness, I didn't agree to
bury myself alive. What in heaven's name ?

Eng. Billy, I beg of you not to excite yourself ! You fully
realize how necessary it is for you to be calm. Ned says you
are a whole lot better. Don't undo what he has done for you.
If you will just make up a little more sleep

Hast. A little more sleep? What do you think I am?
Sleep? Why, Rip Van Winkle didn't have anything on me !

Eng. (^firmly), I repeat, a little more sleep ! Why, then,
you will be out fishing with me in a few days.

Hast, {scornfully). Fishing? With you? I'd sleep then
for fair. I'm going by myself, and I bet I'll catch something
besides a measly little pickerel.

Eng. I'll have better luck this time. I bet I'll land a
whale.

Hast. I hope you do, and that he will bite you.

\^Exit R. , and slams door after him.

Sam. He sounds to me as if he was getting better, Mr.
Englund.

Eng. Yes, judging by any ordinary disease. You see his
case IS diflferent. It's his nerves that's troubling him, and that's
why he is so peevish. You probably can't sympathize, Sam.
I don't suppose your nerves ever troubled you.

Sam. No, sir, I can't say as how they ever did. Do you
really think it would hurt Mr. Hastings to go out fishing ?

Eng. Well, it doesn't seem so, but I'm no authority. Dr.
Curtis has given strict orders that Billy shall keep absolutely
still, and he mustn't be excited under any condition. Remem-
ber that ! If we really do catch a whale he mustn't know it.
{Goes to door, r.) I say, old man, you aren't sore at me, are
you ? You'll be around with us in a few days, you know,
and

Hast, (throwing a shoe from the other room). I hope you
choke !

Eng. {dodging the shoe). Come on ! I guess it's time for
us to be going.

{They pick up fishing tackle and exeunt, c.)
Enter Hast., r.

4

ON THE QUIET 5

Hast. Rest ! Quiet 1 I'll start something around here that
will make them think it is Fourth of July all the year rouml.
{Speaks to a head on the wall.') Do you hear, old fellow ? If
they are going to keep me quiet I will make excitement enough
for them to even things up. {Sits down at table ; writes;
moves a chair tinder the head ; stands in the cJiair and fastens
the note he has written to one of the horns.) I'here ! To you,
my friend, shall be all the honors. You shall explode the bomb
which will shatter our quiet and rest. {Steps downfro7n chair ;
bows gravely to the head.) Adieu, Alonzo ! I depart to sit in
a sleepy hollow, under a weeping willow, and read Gray's
Elegy written in a country churchyard.

{Picks lip a hat and a book afid exits c. Slight pause.)

Enter David Curtis ^//^Harland Wilkins, c. They carry
several packages 7vhich they place on the table. Curt.
goes to door, R., and looks in.

Curt. Mr. Hastings ! ( Walks back to center of room.)
No, he isn't here.

WiLK. Out in the hammock, probably.

Curt. Yes. Gee ! It's tough lines for an active man like
Mr. Hastings to go to pieces as he has. It isn't to be won-
dered at after all he has accomplished. He's a wonder !

WiLK. Did you know him before we came down here ?

Curt. Only a little. He was one of Ned's chums at
Dartmouth, but you see, my brother is so many years older
than I that I never knew any of his friends very well. I know
this one by reputation all right. Imagine being such a star on
a big Boston daily that the editor will eat out of your hand.

WiLK. His specialty was murder cases, wasn't it?

Curt. Yes. In this last big Farron trial he beat the de-
tectives, apprehended Farron and caused his arrest. Ned told
me that for nearly three weeks he wouldn't go to bed at all.
Worked day and night. This break was coming, and he was
almost insane over the case, and when it was finished he went
to pieces.

WiLK. Your brother thinks he is improved ?

Curt. Yes. Say, I'm tired ! It's some walk over to Kim-
bal Corners. Let's have a look at the mail.

WiLK. Good idea ! {Takes sotne letters from his pocket.)
Here we are ! {Sorts the letters over.) Dr. Curtis ! Dr.
Curtis. Englund. Wilkins. That's from Tom Bigelow. Jubt

6 ON THE QUIET

think ! He is spending his whole vacation at college trying to
get enough into his head to work off a condition.

Curt. That's not a bad idea. I'll bet it's quiet up in
Hanover this week. Tom would never be able to get away with
it when the fellows are around. He's too popular. Isn't there
anything there for me ?

WiLK. I think so. Let me see ! Englund ! Hastings.
Englund. Here you go ! {Ha7ids him a letter.') It's from
Dolly. I will read mine while you go into your usual daily
trance.

Curt. Forget it ! ( Opens his letter and begins to read. )

WiLK. {opejiing a letter). Say, what do you know ? Mother
is worrying about you. She's afraid when we are out in the
woods some day I will accidentally shoot you. Huh ! She
had better worry about me. She would have nervous prostra-
tion if she could watch your shooting for a while.

Curt. I suppose you imagine that you are funny. {Goes
on ivith his letter. Wilk. Jitiishes his ; stretches back in his
chair with his arms back of his head ; suddenly discovers the
paper fastened to the head on the wall. Curt, looks upfront
his letter.) What in thunder are you looking at?

Wilk. Does it look to you as if there was something white
sticking to one of those horns, or is it the way the light
strikes it ?

Curt, {looking up at head). There's something there !
That's odd. I've admired that head a good many times during
the last week, but I never noticed anything there.

{.Pushes a chair tinder the head and steps onto it ; removes
the paper from the horn.)

Wilk. What is it ?

Curt. Only a piece of paper, but I don't see how it came
'way up here. {Opens it.) Why, Harl, it's a note !

Wilk. {in surprise). It is ?

Curt, {stepping down from chair). Yes. Heavens ! What
a scrawl !

Wilk. Who is it to ? What does it say ?

Curt. I'm sure I don't know who it is to, and I'm blamed
if I can tell what it says. It looks about like a Chinese laundry
check.

Wilk. In that case you want to begin at the bottom and
read up.

Curt, {reading). '< Out of my — my — my "

ON THE QUIET 7

WiLK. Oh, my !

Curt. Say, if you are so darned bright, read it yourself.

(^Hands him the paper.)

WiLK. Why, certainly! (Reads.) ''Out of my — my —

my " {Hands it back.) Here! You were doing well ;

you had better go on. I think, anyway, that a girl wrote it,
and Vm not used to girls' writing.

Curt. Like fun you're not ! Let me see, where was I ?

{Reads.) "Out of my — anguish !" That's it ! "Anguish

and fear " Gee! It's something dramatic! "I am —

am — am writing this message and leaving it here, hoping —
against hope that — that one of you young gentlemen will find

it and it will lead you to — to — to " Where in the deuce

is this to lead us? Oh, yes ! " Lead you to act in the cause
of justice. A horrible crime has been committed. The — the
perpetrator has been here once wiiile you slept. He will come
again. He has a reason." That is underlined. " Take this
as a warning from one who dares not speak. Watch and bring
the criminal to justice ! He is not alone. He has an — an —
an accomplice. George is with him." Well, for the love
of Who in the deuce did that?

WiLK. (disgusted). Some one must think we are an easy
crowd here to swallow in a mess like that.

Curt. Does some one think this is a joke ? I don't even
see the point. Wouldn't it make you sick ? A regular school-
boy's trick !

WiLK. {uneasily). Why, of course it must be I There
couldn't be any truth in this.

Curt, {beginning to get nervous). No, of course not ! Still,
if there should be? Good heavens! But then, of course, if
any crime had been committed around here we should certainly
have heard of it.

WiLK. Yes, of course. Sam would certainly know about
it. His father is a constable, you know.

Curt. Yes, of course. Still, I would like to show this to
some one.

WiLK. And get well laughed at.

(Jeremiah Hincks knocks at door.)
Curt. Come in !

Enter HiNCKS, c.

8 ON THE QUIET

HiNCKS {very much excited). Sam been't here?

Curt. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Hincks ? No, Sam isn't
here just now. I don't know where he is. Do you, Harl ?

WiLK. No, I don't. Do you want to see him right off?
If you can wait a while probably he will be in before long.

Hincks. Wal, gosli all scissors ! I want ter see him as
soon's possible. I got a tree-mendous case on my hands, and I
got ter hev all the help I kin git. You ain't heern about the
murder, hev yer ?

Curt*. [ (^^S^^^^^)- Murder?

Hincks. Yes, sir ! Murder ! Cold-blooded, high-handed,
fiendish outrage !

Curt. } (^^.."^^^^O- Who?

Hincks. Jason LeBeau, a trapper over tother side the lake.

Curt. Where was he murdered?

Hincks. In the back.

Curt. Back of what ?

Hincks. His own back, of course. What be the matter
with you?

Curt. Oh, no, no ! Where was he? In his shack?

Hincks. Oh, yep !

WiLK. {looking at Curt.). Only a little ways from here.

Hincks. Yep ! I wants ter see this 'ere newspaper feller
that's a-stoppin' here, an' git some advice.

Curt. Mr. Hastings ? Oh, no, you can't say anything to
him about it. My brother would commit another murder
right here if you did.

Wilk. Mr. Hastings is a sick man.

Hincks. Wal, p'raps he be, but he don't look it. I've
heern how he wuz all-fired smart in murder cases.

Curt. He is ! That's the trouble with him ! He's got to
have quiet and rest, and you mustn't so much as whisper the
word murder when he is around.

Wilk. No, he mustn't know anything about this under any
condition. Dave, I think we had better tell Mr. Hincks what
we have found.

Curt. Yes, that's right. Mr. Hincks, we found this note
fastened to one of those horns up there. We thought it was a
joke, but now, of course, we can see that it isn't. Is there any
girl, an educated girl, who could be mixed up in LeBeau's
murder ?

ON THE QUIET 9

HiNCKS. Wal, yep, there could be ! He wuz goin' ter be
married this month to Irene Bolaiux, a Canadian gal, and she's
right smart all right. She went to a sister's school up in
Can ad y.

WiLK. Does she know her way around here ?

HiNCKS. Land o' Goshen, yes ! She knows the woods,
and is about's good a trapper as Jason wuz.

w!lk I (f^S^^^^r). She's the one !

HiNCKS. Wal, gosh all scissors ! She wouldn't kill LeBeau.
She's some fiery, but she wouldn't never git mad enough fer
thet. She wuz too tarnation gone on him.

WiLK. We didn't mean that she killed him. Here, read
this. {Ha?ids him the ?wte.)

HiNCKS. What ? Me ? Read this tarnation scrawl ? Gosh
all scissors !

Curt. Let me have it ! We managed to puzzle it out.

{He reads the note to Hincks.)

HiNCKS (very much upset). Wal, gosh all scissors! Land
o' Goshen ! I'm weaker' n a rag doll !

WiLK. Have you any idea who George is ?

HiNCKS. Nope, I ain't !

Curt. Why in thunder did he come here, and what is he
coming back for ?

HiNCKS. If — if we could jest speak ter Mr. Hastin' 'bout
it

WiLK. Well, we can't !

Curt. You must get that idea out of your head.

WiLK. The thing for you to do is to telephone to the city
for help on the case.

Hincks. Yep! Thet's right! I mout's well be movin' !
I'll go down ter Simpson's an' use their telephone, and then
come back here after Sam.

Curt. We will go out and find Mr. Englund. My brother
will be along soon and we all will get busy on the case. Per-
haps we can land the criminal for you before any one gels here
from the city.

Hincks. Mebbe ! Mebbe !

WiLK. It would be the making of you, wouldn't it, Mr.
Hincks?

Hincks. Yep ! I reckon 'twould I Gosh all scissors ! I
never wuz so excited since the day I wuz made a constable !

10 ON THE QUIET

{They exeunt c. Slight pause. George Lee knocks at
door. Knocks again. Opens door, enters, looks cau-
tiously about.)

Lee. 'Scuse me ! 'Scuse me ! I hopes ter goodness yo'-all
pahdon mah obstrusion into yo' -all's house. {Goes to door, l.,
afid kfiocks.) 'Scuse me ! 'Scuse me ! [Listens a second,
goes to door, r., and knocks.) 'Scuse me! 'Scuse me!
{Listens.) Well, I 'clares ter goodness! {Goes to door, c,
and looks out.) Mr. Calhoun, sah, dey ain't nobody here.

Vincent Calhoun {outside). Are you sure ?

Lee. Yas, sah ! Dey ain't, sah I Shu's yo* borned ! Dis
ain't nobody's house !

Enter Cal., c. He wears a raincoat which comes Just below
the top of his stockings showing that he isn't wearing any
trousers. •

Cal. Why, of course it's somebody's house, you black
monstrosity ! Every house belongs to somebody, and some-
body must be occupying this at the present time or the frontdoor
wouldn't be so obligingly left unlocked.

Lee. Wal, I don' see no reason why anybody would be
a-stayin' here. Dis ere place don' 'peal ter me at all.

Cal. Of course not ! The grandeur of these primeval for-
ests doesn't thrill your soul.

Lee. No, sah, I reckon it don* do nothin' like yo'-all say.
Mr. Calhoun, sah, if yo' please, sah, what is yo'-all gwine
ter do?

Cal. I'm hanged if I know !

Lee. Yo'-all 'scuse me, sah, but I sticks to it, if we's gwine
down to de village, yo'-all bed suttinly bettah wear mah pants.

Cal. How many times have I told you to say trousers ?

Lee. Yes, sah, trouses, sah. I suttinly tinks, sah, dat if
one ob us is gwine ter trabble widout half dey clothes, it bed
suttinly bettah be me. I tinks it would look bettah, sah. Inevah
heard o* nobody by de 'stinguished name o' Calhoun a-cuttin'
no sech figur as yo'-all is jes* at present, sah.

Cal. No, I reckon probably you never did, but as far as
appearance goes I am inclined to think that I am not cutting
any more ludicrous figure now than I would be if I was wear-
ing your clothes.

Lee. Wal, I don' know nothin' 'bout the cussiness pat ob

ON THE QUIET II

it. I don' blame yo'-all fo' swearin', sah. Yo'-all 'scuse me,
sah, but I tinks dat even if mah pants ain' as stylish as yo'-all's
wuz, dey is a trifle bettah dan no pants at all. 'Pears ter me
dey is. Ob course if yo'-all waits a lil while somebody may
come in an' yo'-all can explain.

Cal. Explain? Explain that I went in swimming and you
went to sleep and let some one come along and steal my trou-
sers ? That's a bright sounding story, George. They will ar-
rest us for a pair of hobos or lunatics, I don't know which.
If they run us in I haven't money enough to bail us out.
Every cent I had was in those trousers. Why in thunder did
they take just my trousers? Why didn't they take my other
clothes? Or if it was the money they wanted, why didn't they
have decency enough to take it and leave my trousers ?

Lee. Wal, sah, 'scuse me, sah, but 'pears ter me I wouldn'
worry 'bout why they-all took yo' pants. De facts am dat dey
done took dem, an' what is yo'-all gwine ter do? I has a lil
money. I reckon 'bout two dollars an' thirty-nine cents, but
dat am a scanlously small sum to

Cal. It's enough to have a telegram sent to the city, and
the bank will telegraph some money back to me. The ques-
tion is how to get up nerve enough to appear in the village this
way.

Lee. If yo'-all waits long enough, p'raps somebody'U come
in an' dey'll lend yo'-all a pair ob pants.

Cal. Great idea, George ! I wonder I didn't think of that.
That's just what somebody will do if they've got a pair to lend,
but they won't wait to come in. They are going to lend them
right now ! {Starts for door, i..)

Lee. Fo' de Ian', Mr. Calhoun, what yo'-all gwine ter do?
Yo' ain't gwine ter pinch somebody's pants ?

Cal. No, I'm going to borrow somebody's trousers. Don't
let your conscience trouble you. I will return them to-mor-
row. You keep watch, George. [Exit, l.

Lee (very much upset). Fo' de Ian' ! (Calls.) Mr. Cal-
houn, s'pose somebody comes, what'U I do? I cain't tell dem
yo'-all's borryin' dey trouses.

Cal. (from room, l.). Oh, I've found a lovely pair,
George ! Classy ones !

Lee (glanchig ufi easily torvard the door). Fo' de Ian', Mr.
Calhoun, yo'-all hurry ! Jes' s'pose somebody did come in !
What'lllsay?

Cal. Tell them I'm dressing for dinner.

12 ON THE QUIET

(Arthur Hatch knocks at door. Opens it and enters.')

Lee {thoroughly frightened). Oh, fo' he Ian' ! 'Scuse me,
sah ! 'Scuse me ! I — I

Hatch. Is Mr. Hastings in ?

Lee. No, sah, I — 1 — 1 reckon he ain't.

Hatch. Well, is Dr. Curtis here ?

Lee. N-N-No, sah, I reckons he ain't here either. Is yo'-all
sick?

Hatch. No, I'm not sick. Who are you ? Do you work
for Mr. Hastings ?

Lee. N-N-No, sah. Mah name's Lee. George Jefferson
Henry Lee, an' I works fo' Mr. Calhoun, sah, an'

Enter Cal., l. He still wears his raincoat^ but it is thrown
open revealing a pair of very light gray trousers. He
stops abruptly when he sees Hatch.

Hatch. Oh, it's you, Mr. Strickland? Have you just
arrived ?

Cal. Ye-es, I have just arrived.

Hatch. It is some years since I have seen you, but I'm
glad to meet you again. {Shakes hands with hi?n.') I heard
you had come down here, so I came over to explain things to
you. You found the camp open and being occupied ? Well —
er — I don't suppose your father knows you are here?

Cal. No, I hardly think he does.

Hatch. Well, perhaps you don't know, but I let this place
for him whenever I have the chance. Just now there is a
party of young men here. I really hope you don't mind.

Cal. Not at all. I will go at once.

Hatch {hastily). Oh, that won't be necessary, I'm sure.
(Hast, enters C, and regards them with surprise.) Oh,
here's Mr. Hastings, now ! Mr. Hastings, this is Mr. Strick-
land. His father owns this camp. Of course when he came
down here to-day he didn't know the place was let. I was just
telling him that I was sure you wouldn't object to his making
one of your party.

Hast, {in astonishment). Why — er

(Lee makes an inarticulate sound, and Cal. tur?is to look
at him.)

Hatch {very much' in earnest y in a swift aside to Hast.)

ON THE QUIET I3

Pretend you are pleased. Make him stay ! It's got to be
done.

Hast, {taking the cue from YiATCn) . Why, of course you
are welcome in your father's house, Mr. Strickland.

Cal. I wouldn't dream of intruding.

Hast. Who is this colored fellow? Your valet?

Hatch. Oh, no, he isn't with Mr. Strickland. He works
for Mr. Cal — somebody.

Lee. Calhoun, sah.

Hast. Well, what are you doing in here? Where is Mr.
Calhoun ?

Lee (desperately, looking from one to the other). I 'clare
ter goodness I don' know !

Hast. Don't know? What do you mean? Where did
you come from?

Lee. Wal, yo' see, sah, I was done huntin' in de woodses
wid Mr. Calhoun an' — an' — an'

Hatch {with a laugh). And you lost him. You might as
well own up to it. That's getting to be a pretty common story.
There's been half a dozen lost their way around here lately.

Hast, {to Lee). You go down on the shore and yell for
Sam Hincks. He's out on the lake somewhere fishing, but I
don't think he is very far away. He is a guide, and he will
help you search. If you don't succeed in finding Mr. Calhoun,
come back here and we will enlarge the searching party. We
mustn't allow any one to spend the night in the woods. It's no
joke. {As Lee hesitates.) Go ahead ! Hurry ! It's begin-
ning to grow dusk now.

Lee {with a look at Cal., moving sloivly toward the door).
Yes, sah.

Cal. {quickly). Let me go and help.

Hast. Oh, it isn't necessary. I imagine Sam can find him.
You come right in here and remove your coat and wash up for
supper. ( Walks him toward door, l.)

Cal. But I

Hast. Not a word ! You are going to be a guest in your
father's home. ( Walks him through door, l. ; closes door and
returns to Hatch. Lee exits c.) Now, will you tell me the
meaning of this performance of yours? We hired this place
and paid for it in advance. Why have we got to keep this fel-
low here ?

Hatch. Gee ! I hate to tell you. Dr. Curtis would kill
me. He said you mustn't be disturbed about anything. But

14 ON THE QUIET

good heavens, there's no other way. I'll have to tell you on
the quiet. This fellow is loony.

Hast, {astonished). Loony? Strickland?

Hatch. Yes, it's dreadful. He used to come here with his
father, and once he had a long sickness here. When he got
better his mind was affected. He's been in a sanitarium for
several years, and yesterday he escaped. The officials called
me up to-day and told me to keep a look out for him, because
lately he's been babbling about the Maine woods and his father's
camp, and they rather thought he would come this way. They
are following him, and I'll drive right back to the store and
telephone to them that he is here, and to come for him. There's
no way but for you to keep him here for a few hours. You
aren't afraid, are you ?

Hast. Well, not so you would notice it ! What a pity !
He's a fine-looking fellow, and appears perfectly sane. I
should say he was quite harmless.

Hatch. Oh, yes, he is harmless. They have always hoped
for a cure. I haven't seen him for several years and he looks
a good deal older and a good deal thinner than he used to.
There is one peculiarity of his disease. He's anybody that
you tell him that he is, and agrees with everything you say to
him. If you should tell him he was king of England, emperor
of Germany, and president of the United States, he would say,
yes, that he was all three. Well, I've got to be going. I hope
this won't hurt you any, Mr. Hastings, but I don't see what
else I could do.

Hast. Don't let that worry you ! I'm not half as sick as
they make me out to be. I'll look after Strickland and won't
say anything about his mental condition if I can help it. Dr.
Curtis would be so worried he would put me to bed again and
feed me on gruel.

Hatch. You look a lot better than you did a week ago.

Hast. Thanks. I am better.

Hatch. I'll get some one down here just as soon as I can.

Hast. All right. Good-bye. (Hatch exits c. Hast.
glances uneasily at door, l. ; looks up at head on the wall.')
By Jove, Alonzo, you have delivered my message already.
Good work, old sport ! Things are looking up ! Rest and
quiet, Alonzo, are all right in their place, but they

{Enter Hincks, c. Looks cautiously about.)
Hincks. Mr. Hastings !

ON THE QUIET I5

Hast. Oh, it's Mr. Hincks, isn't it? How do you do?
Do you want to see Sam ?

Hincks. Wal, no. It wuz you I wanted ter see.

Hast. Good enough ! I feel just like having callers.
(^Glances again toward door, l.) Sit down.

Hincks. I don't know as I oughter talk ter you. Do you
feel very sick, Mr. Hastings ?

Hast. Not at all. I'm fit as a fiddle.

Hincks. And you think I won't hurt yer none if I talk to
yer fer a while ?

Hast. Certainly not ! Talk right along, Mr. Hincks !

Hincks. Wal, gosh all scissors ! I hope I ain't doin' yer
no harm, but there's somethin* I want ter tell yer on the quiet.

Hast. That sounds interesting. Go right ahead.

Hincks. Wal, I want ter show yer this note. If you think
yer can't figger it out I kin tell yer what it says.

Hast. {leani?ig forward to hide his face). I guess I can
manage. I am quite a handwriting expert. {Pretends to read
note.) Why— why, Mr. Hincks ! How surprising !

Hincks. Sh ! Hush ! Don't you get excited ! If you do,
thet doctor feller will just naturally want ter knock the stuffins
outen me !

Hast. But this is most important, Mr. Hincks !

Hincks. Now ! Now ! Don't yer get excited ! I jest
want ter git some advice from yer. If I could ketch this rascal
it would be the makin* uv my repertation. There be some
fellers in this county thet thinks my bein' a constable is a huge
joke. I want ter prove fer once thet I'm onto my job !

Hast. Good for you ! Now, first of all, where did you get
this message, or warning, it appears to be ?

Hincks. Wal, them two young fellers thet's a-stayin' here
with you

Hast. Dave and Harland Wilkins ?

Hincks. Yep, them's the ones. Wal, they found this stickin'
ter one o* them horns up there.

Hast. What? Found here? Right here in this room?

Hincks. Now, don't get excited ! Keep cool, like me.
Yep, it was found right here.

Hast. How perfectly astonishing, Mr. Hincks !

Hincks. Yep ! Ain't it ? In all yer experience did yer
ever hear a case like it ?

Hast. Never. I suppose the boys are quite excited over it.

Hincks. Wal, yer kin jest bet ! I wanted ter tell yer right

l6 ON THE QUIET

off but they didn't dare ter do it. They're goin' ter tell Mr.
Englund and the doctor, and they are all goin' ter work on it,
but I knew one word from you wuz better' n a hundred from
any uv them.

Hast. Thanks.

HiNCKS. Now, if you wuz in my place would you send fer
a detective from the city ?

Hast, {choking suddenly). Certainly not ! You can handle
this alone. Why, Mr. Hincks, you can make yourself famous.

HiNCKS. Yer think so ? You will help me ?

Hast. Of course I will ! Now, I tell you what. The
criminal is coming back here, so you see the thing for you to
do is to keep watch for any suspicious-looking characters you
see prowling around ; especially any coming in the direction of,
this camp. Sh ! There's some one coming ! You come and
see me later and I will tell you some more. (Dr. Edward
Curtis enters c.) Hello, Ned ! Back again? Here's Mr.
Hincks looking for Sam.

Dr. C. How do you do, Mr. Hincks ?

Hast. Aren't you going to wait for Sam, Mr. Hincks?

Hincks. Nope ! I guess I'll travel along. I got a lot to
do. I'll come back and see Sam later. [Exit, c.

Enter Cal., l.

Hast. Ned, this is Mr. Strickland. His father owns this
camp and he came down here not knowing the place was occu-
pied. I have invited him to join us oyer night, anyway. I
knew you would be delighted.

Dr. C. {surprised but cordial). Why, certainly. I'm glad
to meet you, Mr. Strickland. {Shakes hands with him.)

Cal. Thank you. I

Hast, {grabbing Cal. by the arm). Come in this way,
Mr. Strickland. I want to show you some pictures we have
made of the camp.

{Exeunt, R. Dr. C. looks after them puzzled.)
Enter Curt, and Wilk., c.

Curt. Say, Ned, there's a deuce of a row going on !
There's a man lost in the woods, and Jason LeBeau, a trapper,
has been murdered in his shack across the lake, and

Dr. C. Hush, David ! Do you want to kill Billy outright?

Curt. Oh, has he come in ?

ON THE QUIET I7

Dr. C. Yes, and

Enter Eng., Sam and Lee, c. Hast, enters r. Cal. comes
to door^ R., and stands looking in,

Eng. Not a trace of Mr. Calhoun can we find.
Dr. C. Is he the man who is lost in the woods?
Eng. Yes.

Lee. I 'clares ter goodness we couldn* fin' him nohow.
Harry Strickland {outside'). George ! George !
Eng. {to Lee). Some one is calling you. Probably that is
Mr. Calhoun.

Lee {startled). N-N-No, sah, dat ain' his voice.

(Dr. C. opens door, c. Strick. enters. Strick. and Cal.
should be made up to look very much alike. Strick. looks
about with a vacant stare.)

Dr. C. You are Mr. Calhoun ?

Strick. Yes.

Cal. (/// astonishment, stepping ifito room). The deuce
you are !

Dr. C. And this is your servant, George ?

Strick. Yes.

Lee. I 'clares ter goodness

Eng. {to Strick.). I'm glad you have found your way
here. We have been out looking for you, and

Enter Hincks. Foifits at Strick.

HiNCKS. There you are ! I've got you ! And gosh all
scissors, I've done it myself ! I reckon my name is made in
this county !

Dr. C. Why, what are you talking about? This gentle-
man is Mr. Calhoun, and

HiNCKS. 1 don't give a tinker's whistle who he is, though
I'm glad ter find out. That's his pal, George, been't it?

Dr. C. It's his servant.

HiNCKS {to Lee). Your name's George, been't it?

Lee. Y-Y-Yas, sah, my name sho' is George, but

HiNCKS. That will do ! I arrest both er yer in the name
o' the law.

Eng. Arrest them ?

Dr. C. What for ?

HiNCKS. For the murder of Jason LeBeau.

l8 ON THE QUIET

KiA. (excepting ^TRiCYi.). What?

(Strick. appears indifferent.)

HiNCKS. You might's well own up ! I've got ye ! You
might jest's well confess. You murdered Jason LeBeau.

Strick. {wearily, drawi?ig his hand across his eyes). Yes.

HiNCKS. And George was with you when you did it ?

Strick. Yes.

Lee. 'Scuse me, sah, 'scuse me, but I wasn' nevah present
on no sech 'casion.

HiNCKS. Sam, you hike right over to Simpson's and tele-
phone ter the city that it's a feller by the name o* Calhoun thet
murdered Jason LeBeau, and

Cal. I protest ! This is — is — is — an outrageous sounding
story, and — and

HiNCKS. I don't know who you are, young man, but 'pears
ter me this ain't none o' yer business ! You go 'long, Sam, and
say we'll keep Calhoun and George here until they send an
officer for them.

Sam. All right. [Exit, c.

Lee. Yo' don' keep me-all ! {Starts for door.) Not if I
knows it first !

(Curt, afid Wilk. hold him back.)

HiNCKS. Hold on to him ! Don't let him get away !

(HiNCKS stands by door, c, to keep any one from getting out.)

Cal. I protest against this whole business. I am Vincent
Calhoun. (Points to Strick.) I don't know who this fellow
is, but he's mighty nervy. He's not only using my name, but
he is wearing my trousers.

All {in asto7iishment). What?

Hast. Don't pay any attention to this fellow, {hidicates
Cal.) I hate to tell it but he is a trifle out. He has escaped
from a sanitarium, and I am keeping him here until they send
for him.

Lee {trying to get a7vay from V^ii^K.). Wow!

Cal. {puttijig his ha?id to his head and dropping into a
chair). Great Caesar's Ghost !

CURTAIN

ACT II

SCENE. — As curtain rises Dr. C. is walking up and down
the room talking to CuRT., Wilk. ««^Eng., who are seated
about the room.

Dr. C. a nice state of affairs ! A nice state of affairs, I
must say ! To bring a patient down here for rest and quiet,
and have this hurrah going on ! An escaped lunatic, and a
criminal and his accomplice right here in the house with us.
Splendid company we are in ! Delightfully exclusive . And
then we have to have a mystery as well. Somebody enters,
heaven only knows how or when, and leaves a message on the
wall!

Curt. Well, Mr. Hastings doesn't know anything about
that.

Dr. C. It's a wonder ! It's a wonder that you didn't tell
him ! Where's Sam ?

Wilk. Mr. Hincks thinks he knows who the girl is who
wrote the note that was left here, and he has sent Sam to see
if he can find out where she is. He wants to get at her.

Hast, {comifig to door, r.). I say, Ned, I have just thought
of something important !

Dr. C. Billy, if you have an atom of common sense, go
into that room, get a book and take your mind off the foolish-
ness that's going on in this house. You can't help things a
bit, and you can help yourself a whole lot by keeping out of
this.

Hast, (angrily). Any one would think that I am a baby !

[Exit.

Dr. C. {looking after him). This will undo everything I
have done.

Eng. Ned, what do you say to looking our prisoners over ?"
You know I can't make myself believe that Strickland is men-
tally unbalanced. Does he look so to you ?

Dr. C. I haven't observed him closely. My mind has been
wholly occupied with Billy.

Eng. Well, do lunatics ever appear perfectly sane?

Dr. C. Oh, yes, very often.

'9

20 ON THE QUIET

Hast, {coming to door). Say ! I think you might at least
tell me who Jason LeBeau is !

Dr. C. Billy !

Hast. Well, I could tell you what to do ! You people are
regular nuts ! That Calhoun fellow never killed any one, or
the nigger either. I can't imagine why Calhoun would own up
to the thing.

Dr. C. Will you stop?

Hast, (aggrieved). And Strickland is wearing my trousers.

All. Your trousers ?

Hast. Yes. If his mind is affected it's on the subject of
clothes. He is wearing my trousers, and thinks Calhoun is
wearing his.

Dr. C. Billy, if you don't go in the other room and keep
still, I'll lock you in there. [Exit Hast.

Eng. What do you say to having our prisoners out here one
at a time ? I want to ask some questions, and I want you to
take notice of Strickland. I have an uneasy feeling in regard
to this. Somehow I don't believe things are just as they appear
to be.

Hast. {comi7ig to door). Say ! Will you please tell Strick-
land to be careful of my trousers ? They're my best ones.
The most A. i tailor in Boston made them, and I simply dote
on those trousers.

WiLK. You don't honestly mean, Mr. Hastings, that Strick-
land is wearing your trousers ?

Hast. I honestly do. You go in there {pointing to roonij
L.), and if my gray trousers are hanging in that curtained re-
cess by the window, I'll give you a ten dollar bill. [Exit.

Dr. C. If you are going to have your hearing out here,
lock that door and keep Billy away.

Eng. All right. {Locks door, r.)

Hast, {from room, r., shaking door). Oh, you just wait !
I'll get even !

Eng. David, you go in and stay with the prisoners, and
send Mr. Hincks out here. While you are in there find out if
what Billy says about his trousers is true.

Curt. All right. [Exit, l.

Eng. Harland, you know shorthand ?

Wilk. Fairly well.
■ Eng. You can be court stenographer and take down the
evidence. I will be prosecuting attorney, and Ned, you can act
as judge.

ON THE QUIET 21

Enter Hincks, l.

HiNCKS. That young chap says you want ter see me.

Eng. Yes. Sit down a few minutes. We thought perhaps
you would tell us how you happened to arrest Calhoun. How
did you find out that he was the guilty man ?

Hincks {importantly'). Wal, yer see, after the boys give me
that ere note, I wuz a-goin' ter telephone ter the city fer help
on the case, but — er — something changed my mind, and

Eng. What was the something that changed your mind?

Hincks {^glancing uneasily toward door^ r.). Oh — er —
nothin.' Jest nothin' at all I

Eng. a minute ago you said something. Now you say
nothing. What do you mean ?

Hincks. Wal, er — ^jest a sort of a feeling that I might be
able ter handle the case myself. 'Cause I knew if I could I'd
be made in this county, an' I reckon I be all right.

Eng. I see. All right ; after you had this sort of feeling,
what did you do next ?

Hincks. Wal, I thought I'd go over ter Jason's shack and
view the ree-mains.

Eng. {in astonishment). Hadn't you been? Were you
working on a case without first visiting the scene of the crime ?

Hincks. Why, gosh all scissors ! I hedn't hed the time to
go over. I wuz jest gettin' round to it.

Eng. How could you be sure that it was LeBeau who was
murdered ?

Hincks. Why, land o' Goshen ! Jed Peterson telephoned
over and told me.

Eng. All right. Go ahead with your story !

Hincks. Wal, I be if you'll keep still long enough. I cain't
tell nothin' with you doin' all the talkin'. I wuz a-walkin'
through the woods when I heern some one callin' "George!
George ! " Wal, gosh all scissors ! I wuz excited, and my
ears perked up some. I wuz a-lookin' fer a feller by the name
o' George myself. Wal, I got where I could see who it wuz
a-callin', an' I seed this Calhoun feller a-walkin' along and
makin' funny motions in the air with his hands. Once in a
while he'd stop an' call George, and then he'd wave his hands
and yell "Jason LeBeau!" Wal, right then I hed another
feelin' thet he wuz" the one that murdered LeBeau, an' it hed
made him loony. Wiien he come within sight o' this place he
got quieter, an' when I put it to him, he owned right up to it,
and he ain't said a durned word since.

22 ON THE QUIET

Eng. That's all, Mr. Hincks. I'm very much obliged.
Will you ask David to come here ? [^JSxif Hincks, l.

Dr. C. {dryly). Mr. Hincks appears to be a man of un-
usual/(f^//«^.

Eng. So it would seem ; but his feelings seem to have led
him right.

Hast, {through the door). Don't forget, you precious bone-
heads, that there is such a thing as circumstantial evidence.

Eng. You might as well let him in here as to have him
listening through the keyhole.

Dr. C. He will get sick of it and go to bed.

Enter Curt.

Curt. It's just as Mr. Hastings says. His trousers are not
there.

WiLK. That's strange, isn't it?

Eng. Dave, tell Mr. Calhoun to come out here. (Curt.
exits L., and returns with Strick.) Mr. Calhoun, sit down,
won't you ? We want to prove to you that we feel friendly
toward you, and want to help you if we can. You have con-
fessed that you murdered Jason LeBeau ?

Strick. {listlessly). Yes.

Eng. Why?

Strick. (vaguely). Why — why — why

Eng. [regarding him intently). Why did you hate LeBeau
enough to kill him?

Strick. Hate — hate {Fiercely.) Yes, I hate Jason

LeBeau !

Eng. Why?

Strick. My father — my father [Suddenly puts his

hand to his head.) I'm tired.

Eng. Jason LeBeau wronged your father?

Strick. {starting up fiercely). Yes ! Yes, he did ! He
did!

Dr. C. {soothi?igly, placi7ig his hand on ^tricv..*?, shoulder).
There! Nevermind! (7b Eng.) Better quit, Tom.

Eng. Yes, just a minute. You are Mr. Calhoun ?

Strick. Yes.

Eng. And George is your servant ?

Strick. Yes.

Eng. That's all. (Dr. C. opens door, l., and Strick.
exits.) He's mad as a March hare, isn't he?

ON THE QUIET 23

Dr. C. No, he isn't. His mind is only slightly affected.
Some shock did it, possibly the killing of LeBeau, and something
will bring him to himself again like that. {Snaps his Jifigers?)

Eng. Then you don't think he was deranged when he killed
LeBeau ?

Dr. C. Why, I can't say. We don't know any of the cir-
cumstances of the kiUing. Our worthy constable hasn't had
time to find out. Who do you want next ? This grows inter-
esting.

Eng. We had better have Mr. Strickland.

[Exit Curt, l.

WiLK. {laughifig). This reminds me of when I used to
play clap in and clap out !

Enter Curt., with Cal.

Eng. Won't you sit down, Mr. Strickland?

Cal. (airily). Thanks, gentle sir. The pleasure is wholly
mine.

Eng. Mr. Strickland, I wanted to ask you why you are
wearing Mr. Hastings' trousers ?

Cal. Are they his ? I didn't know who they belonged to.
His taste is excellent.

Eng. I asked you why you were wearing them ?

Cal. Oh ! Well, you see, I didn't have any of my own,
and it was embarrassing to go around without any.

Eng. Where were yours ?

Cal. (zvith a glance to room, l.). My roommate borrowed
mine. Likewise the money which was in them. I've lost my
money, my trousers, my name, my reputation, and my mind
since I came to the happy hunting-ground. Would you, oh,
would you give me my money back again ? It's a slight favor
I ask of you, gentle sir, but grant thou my request !

{All begin to get uneasy y and Dr. C. is decidedly interested.)

Dr. C. Mr. Strickland, of what does this room remind
you ? Try to think if you have ever been here before. What
does the room make you think of?

Cal. Think? Think? Ah, me ! The task you set me is
a fearful one ! 'Tis hard to think ! Harder for you than it is
for me. Think with me and perhaps I can do it better. Now,
while I count ten who will have an answer ready ? One — two —
three — four — five — six — seven — eight — nine — ten ! I have it !
This room reminds me of the cage of monkeys at the zoo ! I

24 ON THE QUIET

win ! I beat you ! You never got an answer at all ! I told
you it was harder for you to think than for me.

Eng. Where did you get Mr. Hastings' trousers ?

Cal. Sh ! 'Tis a secret ! You'll promise not to give me
away ?

Eng. Certainly.

Cal. I picked them.

All. Picked them ?

Cal. Yes. I found them growing on a rose-bush in the
garden. I heard them.

Eng. Heard them ?

Cal. Yes ; they were so loud they attracted ray attention.

Eng. I — I — I guess that will do, Mr. Strickland. You
may go. Oh, just one more question. Do you still think you
are Vincent Calhoun ?

Cal. Alas ! No ! That name has been taken by another.
I shall have to find a new name. I think I will be either Jonah
or the whale. I can't seem to decide, but I think I will be the
whale. \^Exit^ l.

Curt. Heavens ! Isn't he daft?

Dr. C. Yes, very flighty, but I imagine only at times. I
believe you thought, Tom, that he appeared quite sane.

Eng. Yes, but I take it back.

WiLK. He's some fun just the same.

Hast, {through the door). Oh, you poor benighted beings
with heads of solid ivory ! You told that fellow he was dippy,
and he is only giving you your money's worth. He isn't half
as dippy as you are.

Curt. Shall I get the coon ?

Eng. Yes. {Exit Curt., l.) I'm afraid our investiga-
tion won't lead us far with half our witnesses somewhat out in
the upper story.

WiLK. {co7isnlting his notes). Oh, I don't know. We have
discovered that Calhoun hated LeBeau, and we can attribute a
motive for the crime. {With a chuckle.) Also that Mr.
Strickland picked his trousers off a rose-bush.

Enter Curt., with Lee.

Eng. Now, George, — er — what is your other name?

Lee. I'se got tree others, sah. Mah name's George Jeffer-
son Henry Lee.

Eng. Indeed ? Do you realize that there is a very serious
charge against you ?

ON THE QUIET 25

Lee. Yas, sah. It suttinly 'pears dat way, sah.

Eng. You admit that you work for Mr. Vincent Calhoun ?

Lee. Yas, sah, I does.

Eng. And yet you say that you know nothing about his
killing Jason LeBeau ?

Lee. No, sah, I suttinly doesn', nor he doesn't, neither.
Dat am a pufectly scanlous tale, sah. Mr. Calhoun is a bery
nice genleman, an' he nevah made no practice o' killin' his
friends, not nevah while I'se worked fo' him.

Eng. You claim that you lost Mr. Calhoun in the woods,
and that this fellow who says he is Calhoun is somebody else ?

Lee. Yas, sah. He ain' Mr. Calhoun at all, sah.

Eng. Well, how do you account for the fact that he was
calling you out there in the woods, and that he says you are
his servant ?

Lee. I 'clares ter goodness, sah, I don' count fer it nohow.
It am puffectly extraumptious.

Eng. And this other fellow who has stolen Mr. Hastings'
trousers ? What do you think of him ?

Lee. I 'clares ter goodness, sah, I don' know what ter think
'bout him. He am puffectly extraumptious, too, sah ! I tinks
it am bery unfortunatual thet Mr. Calhoun an' me evah come
a huntin* in dese woodses. 'Twan't nothin' I evah wanted to
do. It wuz his idea, an* I alius tort it was a powerful silly one.

Eng. How long have you known Jason LeBeau ?

Lee {t7idig}ia?itly). How Ion's I known him? I nevah hed
the aquaintencement of no sech pussen in mah life.

Eng. You never saw him ?

Lee. No, sah, I nevah did, an' I'se powerful glad uv it.

Eng. Did you ever hear Mr. Calhoun speak of him ?

Lee. No, sah, I didn't. I'll bet he don' know any sech
pussen any bettah dan I does. We-all's from de Souf, sah,
an' we doesn' know many peoples up dis way.

Eng. Well, I hope what you say is true, George. I hope
the right Mr. Calhoun will come along pretty soon and prove
your innocence.

Lee. Yas, sah, I hopes so mahself.

Eng. That's all. {^Exit Lee, l.

Dr. C. Not much help from that direction.

Eng. No. He appears innocent enough. I don't believe
he ever killed a mosquito in his life.

Sam {outside^ knocking at door). Let me in, please.

(Curt, opens door^ c, and Sam enters.)

26 ON THE QUIET

Dr. C. AVell, Sam, you look pretty well tired out.
Sam {dropping into a chair). I am.
Curt. What luck ?

Eng. Did you find out anything about the girl ?
Sam. Yes, sir. She's gone away. She had trouble with
LeBeau

All. When ?

Sam. Over a month ago.

Eng. And is that when she went away ?

Sam. Yes, sir. She ain't been around here for a long
while.

Eng. Well, that lets her out. She didn't write the note.

Sam. While I was over to Simpson's, Mr. Hatch telephoned
up from the store. He said it was too bad, but you people
would have to keep Calhoun and Strickland over night. That
there couldn't no one get out here after them before to-morrow
morning. And a durned queer thing. He wanted to know if
I noticed whether Mr. Strickland was wearing any trousers.
Did you ever hear the like ? I told him, sure he was. Light
ones. He said they told him at the sanitarium that they didn't
think he had any on. He had a long coat with him, but
seemed to have left all of his trousers in his room.

WiLK. Well, I guess that's why he stole Billy's.

Eng. Yes, one thing accounted for.

Dr. C. We might as well lock up and go up to bed as long
as no one is coming out here to-night. \^Exit Wilk., r.

Eng. Yes, that's right. I'm ready to. I'm dead tired.
You tell your father, Sam, there are several cots in there and
plenty of bedding. \^Exit Sam, l.

Wilk. {entering^.). Say, what do you know ? Mr. Hast-
ings is dead asleep.

Dr. C. I knew he would be. Come ! We will go up
quietly and not disturb him.

{They turn out the light and ex eufity R. They leave the door
slightly open. There is one ray of light across the stage
from this door. After a slight pause the door at c. is
softly tried ; tried again more forcibly; some one begins to
work on the lock. Hast, enters R. He carries a lighted
candle which he places on the table. He wears a bath robe.
He listens a second.)

Hast, {softly, looking up at head). Alonzo, they think I
sleep. Not so ! While they sleep I do a little detective work.

ON THE quIET 2/

{Suddenly discovers that some one is workitig on the lock ;
listens ; goes to the mantel a?id takes up a revolver which
is lying there; listens ; exits R. The door is gently
forced open. Jason LeBeau enters. He is a Cana-
dian, rather short and heavily built. He carries a
leather bag and a pocket flash-light ; listens ; moves cau-
tiously forward, stopping to listen several times ; moves a
chair under the head, steps onto the chair, moves the head
to one side, thrusts his hand back of the head and takes
out several sjnall bags and a lot of papers which he puts
into the bag he carries. Hast, steps quietly ifito the room
and stands watching him. Strick. enters L. His entrance
attracts LeB.'s attention. He turns. ^

LeB. Harry Strickland !

Strick. {looking at him a second in wonder, and then sud-
denly throwing his arms above his head with a wild gesture).
LeBeau ! Jason LeBeau !

LeB. {with a snarl, ju?nping down from chair and starting
for Strick.). Think you've got me, do you?

Hast, (jumping forward and leveling his revolver at LeB. ).
Stop ! Look out ! Hands up ! (LeB. throws his hands up
and shrinks back. Strick. stands looking about in asto?iish-
ment ; draws his hand across his eyes several tifnes. Hast.,
at the top of his voice.) Mr. Hincks ! Ned! Tom! Fel-
lows ! The house ! The house ! Come down ! All of you !

Enter Hincks and Sam, Cal. and Lee, l. Dr. C, Eng.,
Curt, and Wilk. rush in r. All are in various stages
of undress ; several wear bath robes.

Hincks. Land o* Goshen !

Dr. C. What on earth ?

Eng. Billy, what is it?

Hast. Mr. Hincks, I've caught your criminal for you !

Hincks {with a wild look at LeB.). Why, gosh all scissors 1
You ain't ketched the man that done it ! You've ketched the
man that was murdered !

Strick. I don't seem to understand. I — I don't know you
gentlemen, do I ? I have been ill. Is my father up-stairs ?
Where is George ?

Lee. I'se r-r-right here, but you am puffectly correct, sah,
yo'-all don' know me.

28 ON THE QUIET

Dr. C. (looking a/ Stiuck. intently). Mr. Calhoun

Hast. He isn't Calhoun. He is Harry Strickland.

Strick. Yes, 1 am Harry Strickland. What has hap-
pened ? Why are you all here ?

Dr. C. (quietly^ leading Strick. toward door, r.). Come
in here with me.

Hast. Better make sure of your prisoner, Mr. Hincks.
Got some hand-cuffs ?

Hincks. Yep, but I think they's on the kitchen mantel.

Hast. Well, get them.

Hincks. Gosh all scissors ! I don't mean here. I mean
the mantel down ter my house.

Hast. Oh, good-night !

Hincks. Nope ! Here they be ! (Takes them from his
pocket.) I'm on my job fer onct ! (Starts for LeB.)

LeB. No, you don't !

Hast, {shakifig his revolver in LeB.'s/^^^). Oh, yes, he
does !

Hincks (putting the handcuffs ontolj^B.). Land o' Goshen,
I thought you wuz dead !

LeB. Yes, you old fool, I knew you would think so when I
sent the message. You ain't any more fit to be a constable
than

Hast. There, cut out that line of talk. It is Mr. Hincks
that is going to deliver you into the hands of the law. Mr.
Hincks, your reputation is made all right. This man is wanted
for several reasons.

Hincks. He is ? What's he been a-doin' ?

Hast. Stealing from traps that he didn't set, stealing from
banks, smuggling, and this is where he has been hiding his
booty. (Foints to leather bag.) He's caught right with the
goods. I suppose he thought his enmity with Strickland's
father would throw all suspicion off this place. Things were
getting too hot for you, weren't they, LeBeau ? You thought
you would spring a sensation, and in the general excitement
you would take your hard-earned savings and get out. With
the story abroad that you were dead, there wouldn't be any one
watching for you, and by the time people woke up to the fact
that you had hoodwinked them, you would be miles away and
no one know in which direction you went. You are a pretty
slick one !

LeB. (admiringly). Not half as slick as you are yourself.
I take off my hat to you.

ON THE QUIET 2()

Eng. We all do, but I don't see how you know all this,
Billy. You surely aren't guessing it ?

Hast. No. There has been a number of appeals for help
sent to Joe Blain's detective agency from trappers down this
way, and twice from Canadian banks. They suspected LeBeau,
but couldn't prove anything against him. Joe sent a man down
here to work on the case for a while. He didn't accomplish
anything, for LeBeau got wise and was as innocent as a three-
year-old child. When I heard the name LeBeau this after-
noon I couldn't think where I had heard it before. To-night
it dawned on me all of a sudden, and when I saw him standing
on that chair flirting with Alonzo I knew the truth at once.

HiNCKS (/^ Hast.). Young man, I — I — you — you can't
understand

Hast, (^patting Hincks on the shoulder). That's all right.
I guess you can set these fellows free {indicating Cal. ^z/^Lee),
and guard this other one. Look out for him, for he is the
genuine article. Forward march, LeBeau ! Your game is up
for a while. Just stick your chest right out, Mr. Hincks 1
You are the greatest man in the county !

[^^//LeB., i..^ followed by Hincks.

WiLK. But Mr. Hastings, there was a note that was found.
I wonder if LeBeau wrote that.

Hast. I suppose I shall have to own up. That was just a
little joke of mine, and it happened to fit in at just the right
time.

Curt. You wrote that note ?

Hast. Guilty, your honor.

Etiter Dr. C, r.

Dr. C. What I want to find out is how that fellow from the
store happened to identify this gentleman (indicating Cal.)
as Mr. Strickland.

Hast. Easy. If you will take the trouble to look at them
you will discover a resemblance, and Hatch hadn't seen Strick-
land for years.

Cal. Well, perhaps now you will believe that I am Vincent
Calhoun, and this is my servant, George.

Lee. Yas, sah, dose am de facts.

Enq. I guess we will believe almost anything after the events
of the evening, even that you picked Billy's trousers off a rose-
bush. You had your little joke at our expense, perhaps you

30 ON THE QUIET

will be kind enough to explain how you happened to be in our
house making free with our personal belongings.

Cal. Perhaps you will think I am having another flighty
spell, but it is the truth that I went in swimming, George went
to sleep, and evidently Mr. Strickland came along and stole my
trousers. Also my money. We came in here wondering what
to do and I started to borrow a pair of trousers. I honestly
meant to return them to-morrow. Events have happened so
rapidly since that I have lost count. Please accept my apol-
ogy, Mr. Hastings. I will return your trousers as soon as I
can procure another pair.

Hast. Don't mention it.

Cal. Just why did Strickland take mine?

Dr. C. Well, the officials at the sanitarium think he didn't
wear any when he left there. We can never know, but we can
guess how he happened to take yours.

Hast. Do you think his reason is restored ?

Dr. C. It looks that way. I don't dare to say much to
him yet. It seems his mental trouble was caused by an illness
he had here several years ago. Something happened between
his father and LeBeau just at that time which left a strong im-
pression on his mind. The sudden shock of meeting LeBeau
face to face, after we had talked to him as we did about LeBeau,
acted upon his brain and caused an awakening.

Eng. Well, then, some good has come out of all this fool-
ishness.

Hast. A whole lot of good. I am cured, too ! I never
felt better in my life !

Dr. C. You incorrigible scamp, I told you not to mix in
this affair ! The next time you have a breakdown I am going
to take you to New York, where there isn't so much going on.
Deliver me from the Maine woods if you want a patient to have
a rest On the Quiet,

CURTAIN

New Entertainments

OUR CHURCH FAIR

A Farcical Entertainment in Two Acts
By Jessie A, Kelley
Twelve females. Costumes modern ; scenery unimportant. Plays a«,
hour and a quarter. A humorous picture of the planning of the annua!
church fair by the ladies of the sewing circle. Full of local hits and
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Can be recommended.

Price f 2^ cents

CHARACTERS .

Mrs. Roberts, who wants to be Mrs. Lawson, plump,

president, M rs. B ro wn, anxious to get nea
Mrs. Henry, youngs gi^dy, church attendants,

fond of novels, Mrs. Addison, very inquisitive^

Mrs. Jackson, the president of Mrs. Ridgely, sensitive,

the society, Mrs. Otis, on the dinner com
Mrs. Brett, on the dinner com- mittee,

mittee, Mrs. Thompson, decidedly close^

Mrs. Lewis, the minister* s wife. Mrs. Drew, just married,

THE RIVAL CHOIRS

An Entertainment in One Scene

By Sherman F, Johnson
Seven males, four females. Costumes eccentric ; scenery unimportant.
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Price, 2S cents

A THIEF IN THE HOUSE

A Comedy in One Act
By R, M, Robinson
Six males, one playing a female character (colored). Costumes modern .
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Price f 2S cents

New Plays

THE PRIVATE TUTOR

A Farce in Three Acts

By E, J. Whisler

Five male, three female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two
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Price, 25 cents

CHARACTERS

Fred Spencer, who believes that experience is the best teacher.

George Carothers, his chum, who also seeks experience.

Mr. Spencer, his father, who owns an oil well.

Hans Dinklederfer, his undoing, the leader of a little German

band.
Richard, servant at the Spencers'.
Mrs. Spencer, Ned' s mother, who feels the responsibility of the oil

well and has social aspirations.
Dolly Spencer, his sister, who has a rnind of her own.
Miss Snap, a detective.

SYNOPSIS

Act I. — Fred Spencer's rooms at Clearfield College.
Act II. — The Spencer home. One week after Act I.
Act III. — The Spencer home. Ten minutes after Act II.

MISS PARKINGTON

A Farce in One Act

By May E. Countryman

One male, three female characters. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy
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Price^ IS cents

Jl* m. Pfnero's Plays

Price, SO gc'Jts each

Min rUAMNPT Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females.
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Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

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No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts

J

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

Cfje H^iUiam Wk ^ ^^^ ^03 700 5^
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Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

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Fo. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts